Like "Julie & Julia"… Based on 2 true stories

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEKC5pyOKFU

This is my song for tonight.  He called Friday night from a different number.  I had his old one blocked.  It’s been 7 months…  He was the second one that I ever thought I was in love with.  I’ve been in this deep pit of despair in the past 48 hours.  I’m terribly sad and lonely and disillusioned and completely nostalgic.  The sickening thing is that I’m nostalgic ONLY about a feeling, not a boy.  The boy didn’t love me.  In fact, he hurt me repeatedly and cheated on me and was actually quite malicious.  He’s still with the ex-wife he told me he was in love with.

And I have to tell you that I miss being in love.  I long to be “selfless” and lost in the moment.  Getting lost in that empty stare that he used to catch me in…  The feeling in my stomach was pure bliss.  And you couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.  In my narrow perspective, it was beautiful.  I didn’t want anything else, just him…  And I’ve met other men.  Some are so into me that they can’t see straight.  And it doesn’t work for me.  It’s not the right fit.  Is it ever going to work out for me?  I’m coming up on 10 yrs of divorce this March.  I ping my friends, and they are busy with their fiances, husbands, boyfriends, etc.  Has my life passed me by?  Have I missed my window of opportunity?

I’m sad.  I’m confused.  I’m a wonderful girl, but it just doesn’t appear to be in my future.  Can someone please tell me what I’m doing wrong?